Spy – S021E02:
— Just remind me again why you want to be a PE teacher?
— The same reason everyone else does the absurdly generous holidays, easy hours, stealing school property and the chance to hook up with demoralised drunk teachers and / or hot South American nannies.
Spy – S021E01:
— Well, we haven’t talked about it but I was thinking maybe if she and I moved in together…
— No. Absolutely not.
— Wow. Why not?
— Why not? Why not? Very good question. And the answer to that question is… Space.
— Space. You know what they say, “Space is a great healer.”
— I thought that was time.
— Time and space. It’s the whole continuum. Listen… The more you resist her, the more she is going to desire you.
Spy – S01E01:
— Personally I prefer these babies.
Black Box – S01E01:
— Let’s talk about what happened Thursday. This is the message you left on my machine. I freaking nailed it. “Every man in the room wanted to sleep with me. Every woman wanted to be me. I have the cure for autism and schizophrenia. Buy Merck.” We’re in talks.
Сalifornication – S07E12: Shh
Moone Boy – S02E01:
– It’s weird being in a school with girls, isn’t it?
– Fortunately, I feel really at home here. Whole place smells like lip gloss and bras posters.
– Dad says women are like men who’ve been hit in the head. Look at them all, talking about periods, and scrunchies, and Patrick Swayze.
– That’s not all they talk about, Martin.
– I was watching Patrick Swayze last night in “Dirty Dancing”, and I got my period, and it hurt like an overtightened scrunchie.
Moone Boy – S02E01:
– I did it, I finally did it!
– What did you do?
– I set the road on fire!
Moone Boy – S01E06:
Martin and Padraic made plans for their last ever day of primary school, each more daring and caring than the last.
— Let’s strangle the school nurse.
– Let’s turn all the globes into snow globes.
– Let’s use the toilet all day and not flush it. And then blow it up!
– Let’s steal all the chalk and hide it. But then, in a twist, tell them where it is.
Moone Boy – S01E02:
— Wait, you’re not cooking dinner tonight are you?
— If you want to do the cooking that’s fine with me..
— OK. Let’s not go crazy here. Everyone just calm down. What delights have we got in store?
— Just some rice and veg and potatoes. And sausages.
– All in the same pot…?
– Saves on washing-up.
Friends – S07E15:
— Oh, but, Jessica doesn’t have an English accent.
— I can do an English accent? That baby’s going on my resume.
Friday Night Dinner – S03E01: ketchup
Better Off Ted – S01E01:
— Look at me. I’m so nervous, I’m shaking like a leaf.
— No, no, you’re not.
— No. Is that a problem? I don’t get nervous. I try. It just doesn’t come out.
The Graham Norton Show – S10E03:
— Everebody, new comedy series life’s too short. If you think, what is Ricky know about that?
The Graham Norton Show – S13E05:
— Oh, shove up, shove up. Shove up, get cosy.
— We’ve just met!
— I know! It’s like a Star Trek sandwich.
Numb3rs – S03E08: Jon Hamm